13 December, 2011

伤口 · Wound

The wound I didn't know existed

很多人事物就像爱情一样, 未必能够察觉, 但只要有个种子, 会逐渐萌芽。还有另一种, 是你可能不以为意, 但早就在你的内心里划破成道伤口。
There are many relationships and experiences like love- you may not know their significance but so long as a seed was planted, it would sprout in you. There's another kind of significance- you think it doesn't matter but in actual fact it has been deeply etched with a wound.

有种成长, 不困难、不关键、不明显, 却很深刻。
There are some seemingly simple and unimportant points in growth that may not be obvious but are, in fact, really memorable.

这种深刻, 可能深得入坎却不着痕迹。
Such depth of memory may be so deep down in you that you don't even know of its existence.

绕嚷那么多, 其实就是不愿意承认此刻是现实的。
Crapping so much because I'm hesitant to admit what I'm feeling this moment.

事情其实很简单, 不就是义安来了两位Mass Comm的学妹, 希望我们能采访他们明年筹办的大型活动。
Juniors from another course came to request for media coverage.

Stars, glamor.

为什么我们没有如此的机会, 没有得到如此的信任与责任。
Why didn't we have such an opportunity? Why couldn't our lecturers place such faith and responsibility in us?

我们实习的回忆莫过于被放逐的罪犯, 有权威的人能吆喝我们, 亦可在我们的背后道尽闲言闲语无不刺穿我们的心。
My internship felt like.. we were a bunch of criminals sent to exile. Those with authority made us puppets, they hurt us with their words like swords on our hearts.

有的人就像这学妹们那么庆幸, 能够得到最好的机会。
Some people are lucky and they get the best chances in life- these are the juniors.

有的则因为有野心没能力, 那叫遗憾。
Some have the ambitious attitude but thy don't have the capabilities- they leave regrets.

像我们这批有能力没机会的, 留下的是悔恨与悲痛。
What about us? The ones who have the capabilities were shot down in our attempts to soar- all we have left is regret and pain.

从不知道我的内心有这道再再划破我坚强外壳的伤口, 让悲伤不着边际地蔓延。那份痛楚就像被剑刺心后溅出的鲜血, 震撼人心, 沾染遍地, 难以磨灭。
I never knew that the internship did manage to corrode my strength and left me with endless sorrow. That sort of pain is like I've been stabbed in the heart, leaving the blood splatters that can never be removed thoroughly.

我能够正常的操作, 但是只要亲亲触碰那伤口, 一切的防备都化为乌有, 只有那要人命的难受。世界瓦解, 视觉模糊, 内心混乱。
I can live on because life goes on. But all it takes to break me down is the slightest touch of the wound. All my self-defence stances would reduce to nothing.. I lose sight of life and reality, and I don't know what I'm doing anymore.

我们要的爱很简单, 大人怎么就只会利用与伤害?
The love we wanted was extremely simple. Why did the grown ups have to make use of us and cause us such intense pain?
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