29 August, 2012

妈妈语录 · Memoirs of Me Mo

有些时候,我跟妈妈会有很好笑的对话,甚至让我无语。我常常会写下来,但都忘了在网上分享。今晚难得有空,就来分享咯!
I have a really cute mom, and sometimes, the things she says... Well, they leave me speechless. Sometimes I'd write down what she says, so as to share on my blog later on, but just realised that I hardly ever do. So here are three instances where she's funny.



1)全家出国 Family Vacation

笑话背景:我们一家人在商量要筹备一次全员出动的度假。
This happened years ago when we talked about planning a family vacation altogether.

妈妈原本想说——找时间,我们全家出国。
Mum intended to say - let's find time to go on a vacation altogether.

妈妈说的却是——找时间,我们全国出家。
What she actually said - let's find time for everyone in the country to become a monk.
Well, her original words were in Chinese. So if you see the chinese text, you know she messed up two words. That in turn, means an entirely different matter. 


2)海外留学浸濡 My China Cultural Immersion Trip

笑话背景:前年底,我正准备要到中国浸濡,但是因为我有很多bear bear,有点不舍得,所以想要麻烦妈妈帮我照顾它们。
This happened in Aug 2010 when I was preparing to go China for immersion trip. As I have many soft toys, I was a little sad and was hoping my mom would look after them for me.

我:妈妈,我出国后可以把握的床借给bear bear们睡吗?每一天……帮我整理一下。
Me: Mom, can you let my dearies sleep on my bed while I'm away? For each day... help me keep them tidy.

妈妈:……我以为每一天多少钱嘞。
Mom: *silence* I thought you're telling me how much you're paying me to do that per day leh.

我连当时写下来的便利贴都还留着!哈哈哈
I even kept the post-it note I wrote then! She's so funny lah~



3) 梦飞船 VS 动力火车

前天看电视重播《戏剧情牵30年演唱会》,压轴表演的是动力火车。他们唱歌的片段也出现在广告前的预告,所以妈妈一直说他们是梦飞船。我和哥哥告诉她是动力火车。
We were watching the 30 years anniversary concert on Channel 8 last weekend, and the finale performing artists were a group from Taiwan. Mom was debating with brother and I about the name of the group.

后来总算轮到他们了,我超爱他们的,很欣赏他们出淤泥而不染的才华。妈妈却说……
When it was finally their turn to perform, and we proven right about the name of the group, mom said...

“啊,这种长头发的你也喜欢啊?”
"Har, long hair guy you also like ah?"

“穿T恤牛仔裤也可以来表演啊?”
"Wear tshirt and jeans also can come perform ah?"

等会儿看到他们真的很会唱歌,又有点酸溜溜地说……
Later when she realised that they are fantabulous singers, she said with a hint of sarcasm...


“他们真的需要很会唱歌咯,不然长这样子还真的很难红。”
"Woah, they really need to be talented lor. If not, with their looks... really difficult la."


老母,太坦白了。不知道应该说是坦白,还是毒舌。如果是后者,我还真是继承人呐。
I don't know if I should say that my mom is too cute and honest, or that she's simply evil. In the latter case, I'm probably the heir of her evilness. Keke.