22 September, 2012

泪绘 · Teary Doodle

星期五过得不错,一天当中找的了很多开心的理由。晚上,不幸找到一首悲伤的歌曲,心情便开始有点低落。
Friday was pretty awesome, and I found many reasons to be happy, to smile. Unfortunately though, I found a sad song just before I started writing this entry.

心里一直有一个画面,站在舞台上,前面一片黑,除了聚集在我一人身上的聚光灯,一个属于我的舞台。
There has always been an image in my mind. Centre stage, everything goes dark, and the only light, and spotlight, is on me. That, is my stage. A stage that belongs to me.

昨天,有个人说“你只是在浪费时间”。对你而言,是很简单,甚至很不经意的一句话,却让我心里某个深处疼了好久。
Last night someone told me "you're just wasting your time". It may be a passing remark from you, something you didn't even think through, but it really made me feel painful for a long time.

几周前,我有一点沮丧,有点迷失,甚至有点想不开。有天晚上,关上房门哭了好久、好久。就像前天一样,随手拿了提示卡和一支笔,开始画。
Weeks ago, I was a little depressed and lost, even thinking about giving up this lifetime. There was a night I locked my door, and cried. I took a cuecard, and drew while I cried. 

心里的秘密往往在不自觉中浮现在画作里,而我却有意识地把自己的秘密都画在以下的图案中了。
People say that what you think is unknowingly reflected in your drawing, but what I did was I intentionally put all my pain and secrets down into the drawing. 


说真的,画完后,好长的一段时间都不敢自己拿起来看。最刺眼的是心里最真实的伤痛。
For a long time after that night, I didn't have the courage to take a second look at what I had drawn. It takes a lot of courage to face and accept the deepest and truest secrets and pain in me.