22 September, 2012

泪绘 · Teary Doodle

Friday was pretty awesome, and I found many reasons to be happy, to smile. Unfortunately though, I found a sad song just before I started writing this entry.

There has always been an image in my mind. Centre stage, everything goes dark, and the only light, and spotlight, is on me. That, is my stage. A stage that belongs to me.

Last night someone told me "you're just wasting your time". It may be a passing remark from you, something you didn't even think through, but it really made me feel painful for a long time.

Weeks ago, I was a little depressed and lost, even thinking about giving up this lifetime. There was a night I locked my door, and cried. I took a cuecard, and drew while I cried. 

People say that what you think is unknowingly reflected in your drawing, but what I did was I intentionally put all my pain and secrets down into the drawing. 

For a long time after that night, I didn't have the courage to take a second look at what I had drawn. It takes a lot of courage to face and accept the deepest and truest secrets and pain in me.