15 September, 2012

为什么那么生气 · Why I Lost All Respect For You

有一个人、有一些事,我忍很久了。
There's someone I've tolerated long enough.
 
 
 
没错,我曾经是热血青年,非常喜欢奉献社会。其实,虽然降温了,但那颗心仍然未变。
I've once been those super enthu youths who are really keen to serve the society. Now that I've matured, the passion is still there, but I'm not the kind to go all the way anymore. That doesn't mean that my passion to serve has died. 
 
变的,是对你的尊重。理由,是因为你很不会做人,说白了,你很没有礼貌。
What has changed, is my respect for you. That's because you have really low EQ, and are very rude. 
 
每个人都有自己的人生道路,自己的选择,自己的打算。除非你看到我抽烟、吸毒、堕落、卖身、性命垂危,然后迷惘地蹲在楼梯口,否则把你的想法留给自己,不然我会更讨厌你。
Everyone has their own life choices, choosing the road we deem fit. It's not like I'm smoking, abusing drugs, or doing anything illegal/dangerous/self-destructing. You don't see me sitting on the stairs of a HDB block looking helpless, so please keep your opinions of what you think of me, to yourself, or I'd hate you more. 
 
第一,我是狮子座,是很强悍的女生,要我听你的“劝导”,只有两种可能性:
Firstly, I'm a Leo and am a really strong girl. There are only 2 possibilities for me to listen to your advices- 
 
1)你是我的家人/闺密
1) That you are my family/besties
 
2)我尊敬你,赏识你的成就
 2) I have respect for who you are, what you do and your successes.
 
只有三组人符合我所说的,就是爸妈和两个哥哥、74 Gang、中学所剩的两个好友、Munkysuperstar公司的老板和哥哥姐姐们。
As far as I'm concerned, those included are namely my family, my 74 Gang, Secondary school besties and the awesome people at Munkysuperstar. 
 
你,绝对不包括在内。就因为没有读大学,没有继续升学的打算,不代表我迷失了。我甚至可以告诉你,我相信我比你聪明、看清楚的事物比你多。这跟慧根有关。
 You are definitely not one of them. Just because I'm not enrolled in Uni doesn't mean I've lost my way in life. I can even say, I'm smarter than you, and had more exposure than you. That has something to do with wisdom, not intelligence.
 
有一点你需要搞清楚的:不是我的成绩不足于报读大学,而是我没有升学的打算。好比我到了合法发生性关系的年龄,不代表我就应该去找人发生性关系。
Point to note: It's not that my results don't qualify for uni, but that I have no intention of enrolling. Get your facts right, dude. Just because I can have legal sex now, doesn't mean I will.
 
第二,我不喜欢你不尊重我的公司,即使是74 Gang,我也绝对不允许。
 Secondly, I hate that you disrespect the company I worked at. That's something I don't allow anyone to do, not even my besties.
 
我在Munkysuperstar工作的时候,听过很多人问公司名字的由来。但上次吃饭的时候交换名片,你就一直拿公司的名字开玩笑,我觉得身为一个所谓“很有见识的过来人”(你自己说的),那是很无礼、很出不了大场面的人做的事。
During my time at MSP, I've heard people asking how the company was named. But when we last exchanged namecards, you outright JOKED about the company name, and I don't think that's the appropriate behavior coming from someone "who is very matured and experience". I think that's outright rude, and really annoying. 
 
觉得我误会你吗?
Do you think I've wronged you? 
 
最近再次见面,你看到我自己正在经营的网站,说了“你的网站设计很像中国的”,接着的是很无礼的嘲笑。
The last time we met, I told you I'm working on my own website. You kept asking what's the URL, and when you saw the design, you said "your website looks very tiong/cheena". And laughed following that statement. 
 
中国,是一个很棒的国家,就跟新加坡一样。不过,如果新加坡好比中国,你就是我眼中的北京,那小部分没有文化涵养,还会随地吐痰的坏人。
FYI, China is a fantastic country just like Singapore. In comparison, just like how we have idiots in Singapore, you are the small percentage being uncultured with such mentality locally. 
 
我没有那么笨。你说的“很像中国”,是一种嘲讽,换言之,你有贬低中国的心态。可耻啊。
I'm not stupid. Your statement about it being tiong is a form of laughter at others' efforts. And that insult just embarrasses yourself. 
 
的确,YOLOsg.com是新的,身为媒体,在相比之下,我会自卑。但是我每天都在为我自己的公司打拼,创造一片属于我自己的蓝天。
Indeed, YOLOsg.com is new, and even as a media person, I often feel inferior to other media. But to me, that's okay, because every single day I'm fighting for something I believe in, am working to make it better, and ultimately, my own company. 
 
你凭什么笑我?就凭你那份工作?还不是在为别人的公司卖命,没啥好骄傲的。
What right have you got to mock at me? That you have that kind of job? It's still someone else's company, so get that fact drilled in your head, that you're still slogging for someone else's company no matter what you have now. Whatever you "have", is that company's. Not yours. Nothing to be cocky of. 
 
第三,我不欣赏你的不老实。
Thirdly, I dislike your dishonesty. 
 
说实话,已经很不喜欢你每次见面都说些贬低别人吹捧自己的言论,尤其因为我对你的实力十分清楚。别人称赞你才是真正的称赞,叫别人称赞你只是礼上往来的客套,而你这种自赞,还是损他人显自身的称赞,真的没有什么好骄傲的。
I was beginning to avoid your calls because what you say is always about putting others down to show how great you are. Point in case, I already have a gauge of your capability years back. Others praising you is real compliment, asking others to praise you is just a social gesture, and people like you who praise yourself by putting others down? Well, there really isn't anything to be proud of. 
 
那天,我问你请了谁一起共餐,你说我那一届的领袖,所以我才会去。后来,你说你只请了X个某人。感觉很受骗,那些菜我不想置评,但是感觉上听你传教(很丢我宗教的脸),听你推销,那餐吃得很尴尬,消化很不良。
The other day I asked you who's coming for the dinner and you said you invited "few others from your year" and "your batch of directors".  And that's the only reason why I agreed to go. Only when we met, you said you only invited 3 of us, and I felt really cheated. I don't want to talk about the food that night, but listening to you preach and promote your job and company stuff like insurance agent, well, it was really awkward and uneasy a meal.
 
我虽然穷,但是我有我的骨气,有我的尊严,如果有机会,我宁愿把钱还给你,不差你这餐。
I may be poor, but I have my pride. If I have the chance, I'd rather return you all the meals money and not owe you anything. 
 
第四,你很不会做人,很不懂得尊重别人。
 Lastly, I hate how you don't respect others, and have no idea of the right social etiquette.
 
跟你聊天,总是只有一个目标,就是逼人家证明你的观点是对的。说我迷失,我跟你说我不是,我是放下工作开始自己的公司,你问,那有读书的打算吗?我说暂时没有,你说,哦,你不懂要读什么,就是迷失
Chatting with you was always about proving yourself right. You said you see that I'm lost in life, and I told you that isn't the case. Just that I'm not pursuing the usual path but starting my own company. You asked, so do I have any intention of studying? I said not at the moment. So you concluded saying, see, you are lost.
 
年轻人为什么要把老人送进老人院?
And your argument about why children send their parents to old folks home? 
 
这个问题报纸网络都讨论到不要了。你说“其实年轻人都想养老人,只是都没有能力”,你太天真了。
I believe this question has been discussed in papers long enough. Your point was that "in actual fact, the children want to take care of the old folks, just that they don't have the ability". I can't believe that you actually believe that. 
 
我的远亲,还有几位朋友的家庭,会把老人送走,更大的原因是自私的。他们有能力买大房子、换几次大汽车、有佣人、没孩子、有本事抽时间去度假,真的是想照顾但没能力吗?
My distant relatives, a few friends and many articles on the papers have shown, that many people send their parents to old folks home for selfish reasons. If they can afford to buy big houses, change cars every few years, employ maids, have no children, have the time and money to go on vacations, how is that no ability to take care of parents? 
 
我不相信人之初,性本善。太多人为了自私的原因,都会放弃自己的家长。在恋人和家人之间,也常常舍弃家人去陪恋人,这点你想过吗?
I don't believe that every human being is kind to begin with. Many people are selfish, and being grown up and found the love of their lives, they are ready to ditch their parents to build their own family. That's why some people send their folks to the home, and never called, visited or even paid for it eventually. Let's not talk about that far. Even the present, you see how many people are willing to forgo family time to be with their lovers?
 
老人去咖啡店做工,是因为本地人嚷嚷不要太多外来人才,年亲人又不愿意接手收碗碟的工作,所以才把工作机会让给老人。
 Old people work at coffeeshops, because locals kbkb about foreign talents, but without them, youths don't want to take up such jobs either. So the chances go to these people.
 
你说,老人为什么不能在家里照顾孩子?我告诉你最简单、最残忍的理由,你听不进,但是我还是要告诉你,是因为工作,人力部会确保他们拿得到薪水。帮孩子照顾自己的孙子,未必有钱拿,甚至还要倒贴钱,也不会有人感谢他们,甚至最后连自己的房子都会被骗走。
 You asked, why can't old people be at home looking after their grandchildren instead? First, it is a social need to fill in the jobs, secondly, unlike the children, the employees are more likely to pay them for a job done. Many old folks help their children look after their grandchildren, only to be paid a little or none at all, and even has to cook for their whole family, wash all their clothes. Ultimately, some even lose their flats.
 
觉得老人都应该在家里照顾孩子,你想得太简单,太没有见过世面了。
You are really too idealistic, if you think old folks should stay at home to look after their grandkids.
 
因为你做了、说了太多让我恼火并觉得可笑的话,所以原本对你的尊重都没有了。
Because of all these that you have said and done, I've been increasingly pissed and lost respect for you.
 
还有一个很小的事情,让我一直很介意,不想跟你吃饭。就是华人最禁忌的,评论别人吃的东西。我家里有教,不可以说别人的食物像吐出来的,因为没有礼貌。另外,别人吃什么、吃多少,也轮不到你置评。不过跟你出去吃的几次,你对于我点的菜总有意见,让人吃得很不自在。
One other minor point though. In chinese culture, it is a taboo to comment on other people's food. Anyone taught you that? My mom taught me never to say that someone else's dish is gross, and never to comment on how much and what they eat. But every time when I'm out with you, you always have a usually-unpleasant comment about my food. It makes it very uncomfortable eating with you.
 
男女而言,即使是夫妻情侣,男性也未必喜欢异性说他食量大,女性也未必喜欢男性评论她点的食物,就算是“吃那么少啊?”,也显得多余。
No matter guys or girls, people still mind about what others say about their food. Guys don't like girls saying that WOAH WHY YOUR APETITE SO BIG, and girls don't really like guys comment about their food choices and portions either. What's the point, anyway? 
 
还有,请你尊重别人。当我说我不希望在餐桌上讨论公事或公司时,请尊重我,并且停止追问。尤其是公司本身的机密,更不应该问。
Also, please learn to respect others. Respect others' wish when they say they do not want to talk about business or their companies during mealtimes. Please stop probing, especially company private&confidential stuff that you shouldn't even be asking in the first place.
 
最后,请你不要再小看别人人生的热忱。我对摄影、媒体的热忱从来都没有熄灭,只是变得更理智罢了。
Lastly, please stop looking down on people's passion for their jobs. Just because I left my workplace doesn't mean I've lost my passion for the industry. Never is that EVER going to happen. Not in a million billion years. I just know what I want and how I want. 
 
最后送你两句话——
Last words for you?
 
辅导别人的辅导员最终也需要被辅导,治疗病人的医生终有躺在病床的一天。
One who counsels others usually ends up being counselled, and a doctor who cures patient would one day need to be treated as well.
 
意思浅浅。
Simple.
 
 
 
写完这篇后,重读加了修饰。忽然想起还有一件可恶的事情,就是打电话我不接,后来就用公司的电话打给我。因为我不认识那号码就接了,这种追缠方式很要不得。后来发现,我不是唯一的受害者。请你不要再这样了。
Upon finishing this entry, I took the time to reread and make sure I've used the right words. It suddenly occurred to me that there's something else creepy that this person does. That's that when I avoid the phonecalls and don't answer, you'd use some other unknown phones to call just so we would pick up. I've recently realised that I'm not the only "victim" of your tactic. Please stop doing that.