07 December, 2012

今天 · Today

过了很有意义的一天,让心灵累透,再重生,重视这生命。
It's been one meaningful day, exhausting my soul enough for a rebirth, and new outlook of life.
 
由于牵涉一些承诺,所以暂时不能登太多有关的照片。不过,我还是想说说,今天到了饲养流浪狗的收留所。
Due to some plans, I can't release the photos just yet, but I wanna talk a little about the dog farm visit today.
 
 
不知道是否真的因为我成为了“冷漠”的新加坡人,还是这段时间以来锻炼出来的铁面,今天的采访得到朋友的反馈是应该多问问题,让受访者感觉到我对她们真的很有兴趣。
Not sure if it's because I'm becoming one of those emotionless Singaporeans, or if it's just my newly-developed poker face, but my friend's feedback for me today was I should have expressed more interest during the interview.
 
我无法否认,甚至是非常赞同。
I can't deny. Not like I disagree anyway.
 
去采访记者会、演唱会多了,总是提醒自己不要太多表情,为了专业、为了客观,也为了保持冷静。交朋友和交稿是两回事,因为前者可以无所保留,而后者则是君子之交淡如水的专业层次。很多次的经验是,跨越了专业层次,很多事情很难客观、很难启齿,所以慢慢地,选择拉开一段距离。
Perhaps it's because of the many media events, where I always remind myself not to appear too excited. Or even to have a wide emotional range. Just to be professional, objective and calmly level-headed. Afterall, making friends and writing articles are two different things. I can give my friendships my all, but for professional relationships, sometimes it becomes harder to be frank and objective when we become too friendly.
 
其实今天是很感动的。
In all honesty, I was actually very touched today.
 
也不知道为什么,特别想念我家的钢琴。它像狗狗一样,一直默默地陪着我,是我生命的一部分,却视我为全部。
Somehow the visit made me miss my piano. It had been like the dog component in my life, my silent and non-judgemental companion whose whole life revolved around just me.
 
家里还有个小小的电子琴,但是感觉就是不一样,甚至有点鼻酸眼红。
I still have a small keyboard at home, but it'd never be the same again.
 
人生有好多东西,很多恩赐,但随着我们习惯,也渐渐忽视了他们的重要性。今天看到那些狗狗如此简单的要求、那么容易的满足,心莫名地疼。
We have so many things in life, that are all blessings we should appreciate. But we hardly do, because we're so used to them being the "default" and "norm". Seeing how those dogs wanting just the basics that we already have unknowingly, it made my heart ache.
 
他们的未来到底在哪里?
Where is their future?
 
不久前,中国有则新闻,一位儿子因为遵循母亲的要求,让她安乐死,后来被控谋杀。
Not long ago, there was a news report in China where a son was charged with murder for using euthanasia on his mum as requested by her.
 
我总觉得,如果她痛苦,why not?为什么你可以决定拔掉植物人的维生器、可以放弃急救、可以让对生命还有热忱的动物安乐死,却不能让一个人决定在生命已无所期待后,选择安乐死?
I always wonder... if she was in pain and wanted that for herself, why not? How is it that you can choose to end the life of a braindead patient, you can give up on emergency treatment, you can end the life of an animal who has no wish of dying, but you can't let a hopeless patient leave in peace?
 
这些狗狗想活,偏有人觉得它们生命微不足道。那些人不想活,你偏偏逼他们活着。
These dogs we see, they wanna live, but some people think nothing of their lives. Those people, they don't wanna live, and you force them to live, in pain.
 
难道人痛苦地死,才甘愿?而动物,只是数字?
Is dying in pain the right way? Are animals just numbers to us?
 
其实我有很多感动、很多开心、很多启发,更重要的,好想帮忙那些狗狗。只是,太习惯了该死的内炼,让我不轻易惊叹、不轻易表达我的热忱。我不是没有感觉,只是内心防护层就像狗儿的收留所的锁头一样,放不开。
I was very touched, very happy, very inspired today, but most important of all, I want to be able to help them one way or another. Maybe it's just my habitual poker face. It's not my habit to scream and yell and giggle in excitement, or appear super passionate. It's somewhere in me. Within.
 
 
接下来的时间,留给我在乎而在乎我的人。仅此而已。
Also, I've decided to cherish life, and spare time only for those who give a shit about me. That's all.