21 January, 2013

有缘;无缘 · Fate

最近发生了两件事情。

(1)申请的工作没着落
(2)皮包不见

在求职方面,其实我不是特别急,但其实蛮向往在大环境里学习并且贡献的。之前有些挣扎,有些矛盾,但说到底,我真的很想继续学习、继续进步,也希望能和别人分享我所知道的,一起变得更好。

不过,也许是无缘吧?机会擦身而过,连面试的机会都没有。虽然有点惋惜,但是…… 总不能一直让自己的情绪处于谷底吧?

最近真的很努力,想要开心地面对每一天。


第二件事,今天早上和妈妈出门,到了大众书局才发现,我的皮包不见了。

奇妙的是…… 我没有以前的慌张、无助、彷徨,只是很努力地找。最后一次用皮包是前一天晚上,所以就重返NTUC询问。在家里找了很久,但心里一直有一种很奇怪的感觉。

总觉得……有什么不对劲。

就是那种,自己的潜意识明白,但是自己却完全记不得是几时犯的错。

后来,想要通过警察局的网站报失,但填了好久好久,递交表格的过程却频频故障。就在可以交表格的前一秒,接到哥哥的电话,说在总站找到了我的皮包。

恍然大悟。

最近不知道怎么了,发现自己好像一直处于失忆的状态。早上起来,再怎么努力也想不起前一晚的细节,甚至不记得和朋友的约定或谈话内容。

虽然生活没有太忙碌,不过觉得心里的压力和负担很大。

不过,挑战不是一种不幸,而是一种特权。是让你成长的特权,难得可贵的机会。

把握,也许就是面对。



Two things happened recently.

(1) No news from job application
(2) I lost my wallet

Regarding the first point.. I'm not particularly anxious or worried, but I really do want to find a larger scale workplace to learn. I did struggle a little and was a little hesitant before I came up with this conclusion, but ultimately, I want to keep learning, keep improving and hopefully be able to do good and contribute with what I know and learn.

However... it's probably not the right time. The chances came and left, but I didn't even get a call-up for interview. It's a pity but... I can't possibly let myself feel so depressed for a long time right?

Been trying really hard to live each day staying positive.


As of the second point... I was out with me momo and magua, but realized that my wallet was gone when me mo wanted to borrow my Popular membership card.

The strange thing was... I didn't panic or cry like I last did. It was just a lot of rummaging, and searching. The last time I used my wallet was the night before, so I returned to the NTUC I went to enquire about lost belonging. Then I went home to search more places more thoroughly.

I had the feeling, an instinct, that something wasn't right.

It's almost as if deep down I know how I lost it, but I simply couldn't recall where and when.

Much later on, I finally decided to submit a police report online, but somehow I had a lot of problems trying to fill in and submit the document. Just as things began to load, I received a phonecall from my brother to say that it has been found by the bus driver.

The truth dawned on me.

I've been feeling out of sort lately, like I'm experiencing partial memory loss. There are times when I wake up in the morning and totally cannot recall what I did the night before. I couldn't even remember what I discussed with my friends.

Life's not too busy, but I feel very burdened.

Let's just take it that challenges are an entitlement, but it's a privilege for you to grow.

Maybe facing the challenge is the way to cherish the chance.