01 December, 2014

48小时的平静

48小时的平静,不知道是福还是祸。

今天下午把手机送去修理,接下来1-2天将回到过去。

不必查电邮、不必应付一大堆没有意义的Whatsapp、不必接电话。

快乐
这样难得的宁静是快乐的,因为不必帮别人转达任何消息,不必应付别人的情绪,不必处理任何约定的变数,只有我去查的时候才会沟通。

思考
每次修电话,手机里的一切都会归零。对于念旧的我而言是可怕的,但也让我思考,到底什么才值得留备份。留下的,就是精华了。


16 November, 2014

怪梦中活了一遍

做梦对我来说是很神秘的世界。

我在中一的时候,曾经发生过,因为做梦而睡过钟,结果醒来后到整个早上的经历,跟梦里一模一样,也就是说,早就经历了一遍。

但那种偶然的“巧合”可能只是觉得新奇,觉得自己有一点预知能力。另外一种梦,却也改变了我的人生观。

某年的一个晚上,我好像睡得特别沉。在梦里,我从医生的口中得知自己得了末期疾病,从心理的挣扎,到后来要亲自告诉家人、自己慢慢接受事实、准备自己的生后事、卧病在床的临终时刻、亲属的一一道别,我全都经历了一遍。

那场梦太长、太真实。

这种梦带来的不是恐惧也不是兴奋,只是在我睁开眼睛后,感受到一抹淡淡的忧伤。

“难道……这是第二次的机会?”

我心里是那么想的。虽然没有告诉任何人,但我用了一个早上的时间,来重新调适“自己还活着”的心态。

这种感觉很奇妙。因为我在梦里,已经放下了生活的一切,也已经说了所有的再见。忽然发现自己还要继续工作,还是需要关心身边的人,庆幸却显得些许沉重。

但这个梦,让我放下了很多。

突然有一天,我翻开了自己这些年来留下的纪念品——从小学到工作的岁月中,不同人送给我的纸条和礼物。这些东西我一直都小心翼翼地珍藏着,那一天却把好大的一部分丢掉了。

很难解释那种心情。就好像离婚的人已经不再需要那个戒指的束缚了吧?

多年来一直希望自己能够朋友多到数不清,在这个梦之后也开始理解朋友不需要多,真心的几个就够了。因为,在梦里,在我临终的时候,在我病床旁的人屈指可数,我却很窝心、很满足了。

当然,我在梦里也哭过。

为什么是我?
我该怎么办?
父母怎么办?


但因为哭过,才明白真实陪伴的重要。一起用餐不看手机的日子,一起散步不担心时间的时光,两个真心连在一起,是幸福也是道别。我很庆幸,醒来之后,这种陪伴还有下一次,但有的是幸福,却还不需要道别。

我在梦里,连遗书都写了。

别再责怪、不必唠叨,我的遗物就任大家适当地,甚至是随意地处理。

因为遗物,其实已经跟我没有太大的关系。

最重要的是,怪梦中活过的一遍,短暂却平静、满足。

我常常在思考:自己应该怎么去面对这“第二次的生命”?

其实周围的人不需要很多、自己的东西可能一样也不属于我、自己的价值或许没有小时候梦想的高、或许我只是平平凡凡地过了一生。

其实这样也能满足,只要怀有感恩和呵护一切的心。时间和数量都不是问题。

19 September, 2014

正能量


从前从前,我有两个充满正面能量的朋友。

当然,他们也喜欢散播正面能量。

当然,他们也有不开心的时候。

但是,后来我发现,所谓的“充满正能量”,只是不允许别人伤心。

自己却有权力忧郁。

当你开心的时候,他们也未必能够真的为你感到高兴。

可能,只有他们的快乐才是快乐。


每一个人都有快乐和伤心的权力。

尊重别人的情绪,适当的扶持,

才是真正的“正能量”者。

23 August, 2014

最讨厌听到的5道问题

前几天的一期《康熙来了》请来宾讨论他们无法忍受的事情,让我也有想要“宣泄”的冲动。


04 August, 2014

犟 
jiàng 
ㄐㄧㄤˋ

以前我一直觉得自己脾气很硬,但又觉得“倔强”不足以形容我的…… 程度。
不久前,好像是在电视节目上看见以上的这个子,就有那么一瞬间觉得啊!!对了!

就是形容我。

28 July, 2014

忙始于无奈,续于习惯

在友情里,我曾经是那个常常不幸地被放鸽子(觉得飞机一词近来挺敏感的)的那个角色,因此特别反感那种朋友。

最近却发现自己开始变成自己讨厌的那种人,而理由往往是“恐怕赶不及”,也常常觉得无奈……这才发现,原来放鸽子的人也很不情愿。



20 July, 2014

宁静

宁静,有些时候就像一道佳肴。

不需要分享、不需要逃避;只需要沉浸其中。


灵感,就像是潜意识的一种魔法,

把你引进空荡而拥挤的思维之路,

在发挥时你觉得自己只是在放空,

回过神来才惊觉:

“已经够字数了?!”



08 July, 2014

失眠

从6月初开始,我就经常处于失眠状态。

清醒得诡异,却也隐瞒得辛苦。

如果说,现阶段的我需要什么?那我觉得是…… 业界专业人士的指导、认可和鼓励。

我不需要任何人告诉我,哪里有什么“其他”的机会,也不需要任何人拿着计算机在我面前帮我“规划”什么。因为,就像我不会去教导护士怎么抽血一样,我也不需要一个还没有进入社会、或者与我状况不一样的人来给一些毫无意义的指导。

06 June, 2014

The Problem with the Big Picture

Had a tough day and wanted to blog about something wrong with our society.

My lecturer back in NP always told us to not just identify the problem but also figure out a solution - only that would make us helpful citizens. Without constructive feedback, it only makes us angry citizens.

I thought I may have figured out a solution to a big problem in our society today and I call it -

The Problem with the Big Picture

Do you remember how primary school was about who to friend, who not to friend? Or how secondary school was about BGRs, finally being able to watch NC-16 movies, and the frickin' O'Levels?

Those are the little things in our lives that makes things meaningful and memorable. We were building on relationships, be it good or bad.

At some point in time, some adult-wannabe comes into our lives and teaches us to look at the big picture.

Picture yourself in 5 years' time (which also happens to be a very common interview question), would you want to be cleaning tables at a fastfood outlet?

Looking at the big picture helps us to let go of the small problems - why she don't like me? Why I no clique? How come my mother don't let me have my own handphone?

In a way, it helps us to "grow up". To stop fighting over the smallest issues. That's growing up... right?

But recently I found a BIG problem with the BIG picture in the BIG environment we call society. 

You know what made the modern society so "cold"?

Exactly, the big picture.

Let me, *ahem*, start small.

University students are past their teenage years but are not exactly adults yet. They stay in hostel, can watch whatever movie whatever the ratings, they can take the driving test, they can sign papers with parental consent. At the same time, many them in Singapore or the Asian society, are still living with their parents, still financially-dependent on their parents and are still part of their Dad-Mum-Siblings family circle.

It's at this point in time when looking at the big picture makes them forget what really matters. Or, as I would call it, the whole picture. 

They find that it's okay to spend the night away from home, even if it isn't schoolwork. They are always focused on their projects, exams, presentations, GPA, friends, self image...

Then they forget the other priorities in life.

For example, at our age, household chores is aunty-ish & optional. Of course schoolwork is more important! Or even, dating.

But it's optional for you, because you have your D-M-S family that covers for you.

When you look at the big picture in the future, when you have your own home, your own family, household chores actually isn't an option, but a priority too. If you don't wash your clothes, no one is going to do it for you. If you don't empty the trash, you can grow your own pests colony.

It isn't EVER optional. It's the smaller part of your big picture that life has taught so many of us to forget.

Outside of home, how many of us take note of the cleaners in the estate? Or the bus driver of that bus you always board in order to get to school?

In a way, we have no right to say that the government has forgotten about us, the citizens. Because we forgot about the "small people" in our lives too.

Stop saying that the country is progressing in a way that's good for our finance but not beneficial for the people. Just look at how you're advancing in your own life, overlooking the well-being of others who make your life easier.

Sometimes our big picture is just an excuse.

You can forgo two hours from your leisure time to clean up your own space.
You can fork out 15 minutes just to have a proper decent conversation with your father.
You can take just 1 minute to thank the cleaner in  your estate who wakes at 5am.
You can take just 5 seconds to greet the bus captain.

What is stopping you from looking at the whole picture today?

02 June, 2014

What's her name?

I read this story somewhere years ago.

A professor was giving the class a pop quiz, and everyone was doing well until the last question.

"What's the name of the cleaner lady that comes into the lecture class every Monday?"

Almost no one got that right.

"What has that got anything to do with this module, prof?" asked one of the students.

Success isn't just about knowing the field. It's about knowing every single bit that contributes to your success, within and aside from the field. 

"Her name is Elizabeth," he said. And that's the name many people remembered even after graduation.  

29 May, 2014

What would you do when someone challenges your belief?


What if one day, someone tells you that the grapes that you know aren't actually grapes?

I face such a dilemma these days and have a little bit of problem making peace with myself about it.

You see, I started using DSLR about two years ago. I had the 18-55mm kit lens (aka basic), and I went on to buy 55-250mm zoom lens (aka can zoom further).

It was all working great, until someday when I felt that it's time to utilize the video function of my DSLR. So the two lens mentioned aren't good for video because they make a lot of noise when zooming in and out.

After extensive research, comparison and filter based on my budget, I set my eyes on the USM 28-135mm.

Of course it felt different. The first 10 minutes when I first got it from the seller, I forgot to cross the road, busy testing it out and being fascinated (more like overwhelmed) by its built and quality.

Can take close up, can zoom, and records video without noises - it's the best gift ever.

Since then, my 55-250mm has taken a backseat, and only used when I have to zoom really far. That's when it all crashed one day.

I started to notice a drop in quality of my DSLR footage.

"Maybe I've lost touch with using DSLR for a while. Need to practise more."

"The lighting was probably worse than I thought!"

"There is something wrong with my camera focus...?"

Of all the thoughts that crossed my mind, there was one hinting to me that perhaps... just perhaps... 28-135mm isn't That Kind Of Perfect.

I've been keeping my DSLR close to me these days to test and compare every now and then. And then I see the problem - despite having a higher F-stop, it doesnt focus anywhere as well in the night as compared to my "cheapo" 55-250.

The truth - It isn't perfect.

Yet it took me quite a while to make peace with it.

So... what would YOU do when someone challenges your belief?

Deny... find excuses... fight back... but someday you'd have to face the truth. Acceptance. Making peace with the truth that your belief may not be the truth.. or the only truth possible. Most importantly, making peace with yourself. Taking a step back, reanalyse everything objectively, and then figuring out what's right from wrong...

No one ever points out the good in that. Truth is, by doubting our beliefs, it allows us to put our foundations to the test, to patch up what may be imperfect, to understand everything again, and it allows us to strengthen our core.

Sure, I don't want to believe that I wasted money on an expensive lens. But the thing is, it is still great! I just have to learn about its flaws, and make better judgment when bringing them out for shoots in the future.

And that just makes me a better photographer in turn, isn't it? :)

21 April, 2014

活着,别留下任何遗憾

距离创始YOLOsg.com已经有一年半的时间,最近对于这个网站感触特别深。


网站设计已经更新两次了,但以上是最初的介绍图。

“生命不能重来”,这是很理所当然的事,却也因此变得无比可贵。

过去的44天对我而言是不断地自我改进,但我还是像往常一样地活着。但是对于马航MH370乘客家属而言,却是何等的煎熬。每一次的新消息引发新一波情绪,接着消息反反复复,我们看得烦,对于他们而言更是在伤口上划上一刀又一刀。

还有近期韩国客轮沉船,载着许多家人的宝贝,又是另一次让人心碎亦让人愤怒的新闻。

生命脆弱,绝对不要留下任何遗憾。

弟子规中有写到,“出必告,返必面”,现在才明白其中的用意。有些人不珍惜生命,但有些事情不由得人决定。或许今天是你的最后一天,或许这是你最后一次跟他/她说早安、晚安、再见。

虽然我创立网站是要鼓励大家多读华文资讯,鼓励年轻人寻找购物和打电动以外,让生命更有意义的新尝试,却也感受到把握生命的重要。

如果这是我们最后一次见面,或许谁迟到根本不足以成为吵架的原因。
如果这是跟父母在一起的最后一天,你是否还会选择远行?

正当你觉得,“好不容易”长大了、成家了,脱离这个家庭,有自己的空间的时候,是否有想过,过去的30年虽然让你觉得腻,但你接下来的50年是另一段规律的生活?而你在过去30年体验到的,会在接下来50年里慢慢失去?

如果你懂得这么想,或许你会发现,在你生命中的每一个人都值得去认识、去珍惜、去疼护、去感恩。

今天想做的,想说的,都不要怠慢,但最重要的是,别忘了感恩。

19 April, 2014

饮食禁忌:我的地雷

我对饮食不是很了解,要求也很低。对于西餐文化的杯杯盘盘还有一大堆的餐具,我仅仅略知一二。但是有些饮食禁忌,却是我的地雷。


(1)剩下

大多数的人都不喜欢吃别人“剩下”的食物,所以我总觉得,如果你点的菜分量太大,就应该在开动前先分在一旁或给朋友。只要你一开动,再给别人就是你“剩下”的。

我从来就不吃别人剩下的东西,一是因为卫生(口水!!!!!),其次是因为尊严。怎么处理分量太大的食物也能体现一个人的修养和思想。

菜一端上来就说“分量很多,大家要就拿哦!”是乐意分享的人。
菜端上桌,在开动前会把多的分给别人,那是尊重。
明明清楚知道自己吃不完,却等到“吃剩”才问别人要不要,那叫做先顾自己,再来装作珍惜食物的虚伪派。

我还有一个怪癖:别人用餐打包给我的,几乎都不吃。因为总觉得是别人一整桌吃剩的,才打包给我,不卫生和伤自尊指数爆表。

11 April, 2014

新加坡人缺乏同理心?个案不是结论

新加坡人是很奇特的怪物。因为我们对于国家的发展、改变、政策、文化、趋势、风气等,都有诸多怨言,尤其是新一代年轻人。

这可能跟我们所受的教育有关。我在就读中学的时候,学校开始强调“思维模式”和“寻找并解决问题”,所以我们开始对教育内容和环境有更强烈的意识。例如我们开始对比本地报纸和海外报导的差别,所以在大选期间有人抗议说本地传统媒体仍然不够主观开放。

我们学会的不只是解决问题,而是在环境中寻找问题。例如STomp的出现,让我们注意到生活中的人、事、物的问题。有些现象分明是错的,但有些则会引发热烈讨论。

言归正传——为什么说新加坡人是奇特的怪物?

因为我们只允许自己说国家的不是,但对于外界的批评,我们却会拼命袒护国家。

如果我们可以凭着个案来下定论,以偏概全,那每个人的看法都是一种结论。如果我们以STomp的种种个案为新加坡下定论,国人是否就是都会在地铁车厢上剪指甲、在公共停车场翻云覆雨?如果个案能够作为定论,国人是否就有权利针对驾跑车撞德士司机的外国人?或者在小印度闹事的外国人?

事实上,个案可能影响印象,但现象却不能总结为整体现况。

以通俗的说法,就是看个人运气。

我和同学到中国武汉浸濡的时候,遇过热情载同学去邮局的店长,也遇过把痰吐在同学毛衣上的老爷爷。同样的,我在新加坡遇过帮助我搬摄影器材的德士师傅,也在一次严重胃痛的经历中得到冷眼旁观的对待。

袖手旁观的不一定是坏人,可能只是警惕心比较高或自信心比较低的旁人。例如在外国看到行乞的路人,我也曾经迟疑过(导游有所交待),在地铁上偶尔没有让位给书包沉重的小学生,因为不懂得处理拒绝。这些都是参数,只能作为反思的例子,不能作为衡量整体好坏的度量衡。

最后想要说的是,新加坡有很多的第一都是政府和国人争取回来的,但就像奥运金牌一样,是当下的认可,但作为未来的标准,是否太沉重了?

有不足才有进步,新加坡人面对外界的质疑和观点实在不必太激动。人民冷漠,无论是个案或现象,都是值得分析的课题,说不定因此能带来更多的改变和视角。但是,现象毕竟只是现象,总结为新加坡整体的现况并不成立。

31 March, 2014

只要你肯努力

最近过得挺充实的。

随着网站设计更新顺利结束,就敲定很多日期,一直努力写稿。这时才发现,走出了一个死角,我还是有办法找到更多有意义的内容,与大家分享。

就像跑步一样,你可以冲刺也可以缓行,只要你的脚步不停止,你的道路就会越来越顺、越来越宽。就算你走不出沙漠,也能学会严峻环境的生存之道。



28 February, 2014

Qoo10 Review: imkStore

I am a big fan of online shopping for many reasons - it's quick, you can do it alone, convenient and may even save you some awkwardness from buying in stores.

Online shopping for me started from blogshops. There were those Taiwan and Korea sprees, and some of you may be familiar with brands like 天猫, which used to sell cheap and comfortable cardigans, etc. Then came a period of "fixed list", meaning that after trying a few blogshops, I figured out which is the cheapest and most reliable, and stuck to them.

Then came the "Bugis era" where blogshops like PaperGirlsShop went on to set up physical outlet. They are usually found in Bugis Village, Haji Lane and even a few in Far East Plaza. As far as I can remember, that was the transition period when sellers started to jack up the retail prices to match the common brand outlets.

Qoo10 also underwent many milestones, and many people today still call it Gmarket. I've missed that part of their past because their choices were limited and more expensive, obviously.

Throughout the years, some blogshops have succeeded beyond their humble beginnings, and I've also seen the closing down of several business when the competition gets tough.

Anyway, I want to share something great that I bought from Qoo10 from a seller named imkStore. They sell electronics and camera stuff, and I bought a authentic Canon camera bag from them at $72.90 (excluding $3 shipping), while the retail price in Singapore is $140+.

The reason I wanted to buy a new camera bag was because the one that came with the DSLR was no longer big enough to hold all my additional equipment, ie.: flashlight, LED light panel, stofen, light tipper.

The original bag was about 27cm in width, but the new one is 30cm, with additional height and external side pockets. It is also usable with either its strap or as hand-carry (with the handles).

PRE-PURCHASE

I was honestly worried, because the shop had only sold one of this bag, presumably because not many people would want such a bulky bag. But the only review was pretty good, so I decided to give it a shot.

PURCHASE

I placed the order on 15 February and the item was posted on 18 February and I received it on 26 FEBRUARY. The item is shipped from overseas (hence cheaper), so any time within two weeks I would consider reasonable. In this case, 11 days is better than what I expected.



*****
Another noteworthy thing is that I noticed some sellers tend to have two bad habits.
(1) Confirming/Accepting your order before they check if they have stock
aka within 24 hours of payment, you receive a note that they are sending the items, when in fact they just want to stop you from cancelling the order. (Qoo10 loophole)

(2) Not using the Shipping Info function
some sellers tell you that the items are "On Delivery" but I notice that the items are not track-able with the Shipping Info link. Chances are, they have NOT sent your order and are just trying to "pretend" like the deal is going on.

What usually follows is if you ask them why the items have not reached, the truth may be that they have not processed your order, but they blame it on delivery courier, who have not even receive any parcel to deliver yet.

If you see this pattern from the same seller, do make a mental note that they are sellers who would not keep to their words with your order. (a nicer way to say irresponsible)
*****

ARRIVAL

I have the habit of checking the Shipping Info every now and then. Because I opted for tracking, of course I would want to check! Why else waste your money? It is also a good indicator as of when the parcel would arrive. 

It is usually delivered to your doorstep ONE day after you see that it has arrived in Singapore. So if you are working/studying, be sure to make necessary arrangements. That is one thing I always read in reviews, where people complain that they did not get any notice that the item was coming. Lazy still scold seller, shame.

Anyway, the bag arrived! ....in a Nikon box. LOL. When I was signing for it, I was sort of panicking. *oh no oh no* did I place the wrong order?!

Then *POOF* It is a Canon bag wrapped nicely! 

Of course this may raise suspicion for people that this is not an authentic bag. But my guess is that Canon packagings are often a waste of space. aka boxes are waaay bigger than the content. So I don't mind that they use Nikon box. 

The bag came with the authenticity tag, but unfortunately was torn off by me by accident. Ooops.




As you can see from above,  the bag is of outstanding quality, and is extremely clean, which indicates that (1) it is new stock; and (2) it is a brand new product.

From the sewing below, you can tell that the workmanship is worth the price too.


I love buying cheap stuff, but bag is an exception. Because bags that are poorly constructed with loose threads and crooked sewing usually mean that the weight distribution is uneven, which result in shorter durability and smaller weight tolerance. (I hope that makes sense to readers)

Okay, now of the interior:




Looks good so far right? But I think what matters most is always what you do not see straightaway. So I lifted the padding at the base of the bag interior.


As you can see, the sewing is straight, symmetrical and there isn't any loose thread. So even if it isn't real Canon bag, I would think that the built and durability are awesome.

The following is to give you an idea the capacity of the bag with additional 3cm in width and a couple more in height.


If you are looking to buy camera/laptop bags or camera-related stuff, give this shop a chance.

There's seriously a lot of crap sellers in Qoo10 (more reviews to come), but I think imkStore is worth all the money, faith and applause.

Note: All the photos used in this blogpost are originals and all rights reserved to Yingsphere.blogspot.com, which are not suppose to be duplicated or used anywhere else without prior written permission.

14 February, 2014

Religion is about reassurance, peace and values.

Had a debate with someone about religion and sexual orientation yesterday.

Some years back when I was still working, there was a conversation about my idol. I was told that he may be gay, and my reaction was "oh what a pity". Why did I say that? Not because it's a pity to be gay, but because, as any fan would tell you, it means that we don't stand a chance. XD

The argument yesterday was about the various degrees of acceptance of people who are not "normal" in different religions.

As a debater would say, how do you define "normal"? Normal is having two eyes, one nose, one mouth, one heart, two arms, two legs... "normal" sexual orientation? Straight, because it's the way nature made us, because it is the majority.

The thing is, all the rules, norms, official recognition and approval aside, I respect them for who they are.

Gay or straight, if you are my friend, I like you for your personality - bubbly, friendly, motivating.
Gay or straight, if you are my coworker, I respect you for your experience, talent and helpfulness.
Gay or straight, if you are my relative, I love you for our blood ties and your support.

My point is, it's your choice.

Sure, I still feel uncomfortable when two people of the same gender behave intimately together. I still feel a certain degree of weirdness. But I think it's also another issue - PDA in public. Gay or straight, keep your touching and kissing at home. Or in private. Like you're a Hollywood celebrity and paparazzi is everywhere.

I have gay friends.

But that doesn't influence me. Because sexual orientation is not smoking or drinking. You can't just get influenced. It is an instinct. I often hear people saying they try to "change" the person they like. But isn't that what straight people are trying to do to gay people too? I think it is wrong either way. Because? There's no respect either way. And what matters is mutual respect in the society.

Religion has nothing to do with it.

I was taught in a Christian kindergarten but I'm still a Buddhist. I've encountered extremists from both ends and more often than not, the spiritual leaders have the least to do with it all. I am glad and proud and reassured to have a religion when, honestly speaking, I am getting a tooth extraction procedure.

Religion is about reassurance, peace and values.

You can argue that so-and-so has said that religion is about doing what is morally right. But - what is morally right? It's similar to what the "norm" people have been talking about. Who created morals? Who created right and wrong? If right and wrong are so important, you wouldn't jaywalk. You wouldn't steal fruits from your neighbourhood garden. You wouldn't backstab your friends. Values. I'd accept values like honesty and integrity, but I don't think any leader ever specifically said,"I do not accept people who are not attracted to the opposite gender".

I am more inclined to believe that religion is about peace. Inner peace. Harmonious society.

Sexual orientation should be regarded like the color of your underwear - it shouldn't be anyone else's decision but yours. But also, keep it to yourself. You don't need to announce the color of your underwear as much as you don't need to announce you're gay to the world.

People need to learn to respect.

Respect differences. It's what they call 不同而和in the olden days. We accept that we're all different and we can still live in harmony. That's what society should be about. Just because I think that riding a bike is wrong doesn't mean that I should fight for bikes to be banned. Just because I don't think that you should wear red top with green pants,  doesn't mean I have to insult you for it. Respect.

Unless it is doing harm to yourself or others.

Like casual sex. But that applies to straight relationships too. If it doesn't hurt you or harm others physically, mentally, psychologically, I respect you. In fact, I think alcoholism and smoking are worse. Because you are shortening your lifespan, and you stink in public.

Let them be.

I do not advocate any form of conversion. You should be who you feel comfortable being. No one should be forcing you to change. And you shouldn't force anyone to change either. As much as you should respect me if I decide to use purple and blue and orange eyeshadow colors all over my eyelids. Tell me that it looks bad, but don't force me to remove it and to never do it again just to make you happy. Same for the much talked about "gayness".

I once read in a local anchor's book - news is always happening and the reason we feel that the world is getting worse is only because the situations are now more accessible to the journalists and the world.

I think it's true in sexual orientation too. People got to be kidding themselves to think that there are more gays in the world now because there's approval in some areas. They are always there. Just because they are silent doesn't mean that they don't exist.

I've had my fair share of debates about whether gay is right/morally right/acceptable/acceptable by religions.

And it should only matter in your judgment of people, on the day when I publicly let people decide the color of my underwear. (Never gonna happen.)

08 January, 2014

由爱生恨 · 由恨生爱

2014年到来了,但我还是没有时间写2013年感想篇。最近工作时间安排得太紧凑,恐怕要等到20日才有空了呢。

最近接到大量的访谈记录工作,也从中逐渐爱上这份工作。所谓的transcription对我而言是比翻译容易的工作,因为不用大脑,只需要打字够快。

去年的这个时候接下第一个工作,才如梦初醒,发现工作的挑战。Transcription讲究的不但是打字速度的快、狠、准,也需要听力上够敏锐,分析并辨别各种发音咬字。另外,就像APA一样需要符合规定的模式,还要确认资料。

开始的时候觉得这份工作就像地狱一样,但后来逐渐由恨生爱。

为什么那么说呢?

因为每次的访谈内容都不一样,可以让我认识各种人、各种事,无论是新加坡的历史文化还是海龟生活经历,或者是本地机密的档案,都开拓了我对这个社会的认识广度和深度。

难得我可以静下来听别人说几个钟头的故事,培养我的耐性和专注力,何尝不也是一种训练?过程中遇到特别的词汇和形容词,往往在找资料中能有意外的收获,认识到不同的、另类的、意想不到的知识宝库。

第三,就是让我磨练采访技巧。我从工作中体会到爱抢话的记者有多讨人厌,什么叫以自己的认知为中心点的访问方式,也学习到什么样的问题能够鼓励受访者深入分享,还有不同阶层人士的思维和沟通特征和模式。

最后,就是训练我一心多用的能力。为了打字增速,我开始学会边听下一句,边写上一句。我开始能够预测,按照这个人的言谈模式,接下来说的是什么?追随问答两者的思路,也训练自己动脑筋的速度。

算一算,虽然我的作息时间和正常人有些不同,但加减到来也一样是工作6—8小时,有时甚至更长。听到不同的内容让我的脑袋一直都很满,很多资讯消化,也开始对自己的作品要求提高不少。

以上就是我想说的由恨生爱。

由爱生恨?

之前采访中国歌手/制作人曹轩宾,他的新歌《你不在北京》中的歌词写道——“若不在仍有爱时别离,就注定会在恨里相遇,这是简单不过的道理,但真的要明白,却真的不容易”。

以上两句话让我的印象很深,因为让我发现,生活中有很多段友情、亲情等,都是同样的规律。

一位感情特别要好的朋友即将离去,我们却努力保持联系,后来才觉得彼此是负担而相互埋怨,最后友情闹僵了,只能无奈远离。如果年轻的时候不要执着于“friends forever”,或许还能留下对彼此美好的回忆。

一位无法容忍他人幸福的某人,如果我们选择果断地斩断感情,或许还能给彼此留点颜面。但因为我们华人相信“血浓于水”,所以不理智地坚持,后来害到大家撕破脸,让你看到他的丑陋,让他在你的光芒中瓦解毁灭,两败俱伤。

我觉得自己有点老了。

因为年轻的时候会觉得“什么事情说出来,看大家能不能解决”。现在却觉得谈得来就联系,相处不快乐就干脆别联络,没必要多说什么。因为适当地为彼此留点空间,才能让感情不变质,反而能走得更长远。

2013年很不容易,但2014年要面对更严峻的挑战和考验。

我不能保证自己能完美应对,只求无愧于心,全力以赴。


总算写完一篇了。今晚一直在做transcript,然后准备明天要上的稿,忽然决定来写网志,但同样是Blogger,偏偏网站也和我作对。


幸好有F5的存在。